It's not A Man's World

In this day and age, the society has made it socially acceptable for a man to do whatever without literally facing the consrequences. When people use the phrase "it is a man's world", I believe they try to really explain the reality of what the society depicts as acceptable. I think about a lot of things when i hear that phrase about that particular phrase, but first, i would like you all to think about this?
Why is it OKAY for a man to cheat and tell lies to his partner? Why is it OKAY for a man to exert so much control towards his partner?  Why is it OKAY for people to see all these traits as OKAY?

With several discusssions had with some people, the reality that has withstood the test of time states that "MOST OF THE TIME, THERE IS NO WAY A MAN CANNOT POSSESS THESE TRAITS UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES". I ask myself why but the answer, i do not seem to understand. Some arguments that i heard that sounded funny to me were the facts that "men do find themselves falling irrespective of how much they feel for their partners but are too helpless to pull themselves away from the situation." Other people say "that men actually do lie to protect the ones they love and also to prevent them from getting hurt." Others concluded by saying " that 98% of the time it is very difficult for men to stay faithful because they were created to be 'men' and women are supposed to be there to help them whenever they fall.

Here are my arguments.

• Can't women be seen for once as human beings? Women have feelings and treating them as puppets for your will as a man shows that you lack respect for their person and intergrity. So always see a woman as a human being first and put yourself in her shoes before you act.
  
  
  
•  Promoting the fact that doing the same thing is in the DNA of someone doesn't describe the act as a mistake. In my definition, a mistake is an unintentional act that make a thing(s) go wrong.  In the case of what most men do, the notion which is in fact a reality is always intentional. 
  
  
  
• Women are not supposed to bear the risk of a man's irresponsibility all the time. If a man truly cares about his partner he would never do anything to intentionally hurt her feelings. I know it is not easy, but if it easy for her then it should sure as hell be easy for you.

• Most of the time the truth might be hurtful but giving your partner that courtesy may help the situation. Quote me on this "A MAN DOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO LIE TO HIS PARTNER." If it was a mistake (once), telling your partner the truth may help in reasonably soughting out the issue but doing it continously and then lying about it only complicates the issue. Eitherways your partner has every right to know the truth.  

• Also, it is not okay for a man to refer to himself as 'helpless' or follow the notion that he is always helpless as a way to justify his irresponsibility. There is always a way to solve problems no matter how unrealistic the solutions may seem and bearing the consequences for your actions is one of them.

• Finally, JUST DON'T DO IT. This option is always on the first list in every relationship. The humiliation of having to beg for forgiveness all the time is a very daunting experience especially to the person you love. So why can't men choose this option? I mean, it's safer and quite frankly very easy but men being who they are in my opinion, try too hard to prove themselves and boost their egos so they engage in all forms of irresponsibility.  

Therefore, i'd say it is not a MAN'S WORLD because WOMEN live in it too. The man is referred to as the head but without the neck which is the woman, the head would not stand. If the head is not in aggreement with the neck then the whole body would be in trouble. The norms of our society were created and endorsed by human beings and as such can be unendorsed by them. So I believe, men can be respectful, diligent, hardworking and very cooperative towards his partner's feelings and life.

The Importance of Being Happy in Your Career Choice

       For many reasons, happiness actually comes last when choosing a career. Many might disagree but the truth always wins. Growing up in Nigeria was one of the best experiences if not the best i have ever had but the most complicated part of it all was actually choosing what i wanted to be in life. Categorically speaking, i come from a particular culture that believes certain professions trumps others and to be fair its quite general in other parts of the world. Earning a living which indirectly means paying bills for the rest of one's life and sustaining his/her family actually comes first when careers are chosen. This is not to say that the above are bad reasons to stay in a job, but the fact that happiness being a vital part should be present so as to sustain one through the job.

      Less i forget, there is actually a difference between a 'job' and a 'career'. Let me break it down is simple tenses. A job is something you do to keep body and soul together while a 'career' is something you are satisfied with doing for the rest of your life regardless of the amount it fetches.  That notwithstanding, many youths of this day have been indirectly coerced into doing a bunch of jobs just to survive in the world, myself included. I would not deny the fact that living life is pretty hard especially when you have a lot of responsibilities but encouraging yourself through it all is what matters and things around you should also contribute positively to that struggle. Okay enough of the too much grammar, there are different categories of people especially the youngsters waiting to make their big break in life.

• There are those who right from inception know exactly what they are going to become in life and as such work through tooth and nail to see their dreams come true without any pressures from their families or the society. 
• There are those who are pretty indecisive from inception and as such still struggle to figure out their niche in life (I see this group of people especially here in the states and that is okay because it takes time to be sure but just don't take too much time).
•  There are those people who are very indecisive but follow the trend on either the easiest majors or the money fetching majors or the majors talked about as 'professional' by their families, friends and well-wishers. 
• The most critical of them all is the category of people that have interests and are sure of what they what to do but are limited by different forces around (for example, family, reality, pay, past practices and image of the profession amongst others) and as such settle for either what they are being given or what seems more realistic.

All the above categories are unique in their own right but my most concern is the last category as most people fall in this category times without number. I happen to be in this category that has been termed "realistic" and that has shown to limit potentials from seeing the light of day in numerous fields.  
I wouldn't bore you with the first three categories because frankly they seem self-explanatory but i would do well to explain the last category as that is where the issue of my original point of happiness in career choices come in.
So repeating my thought "most critical of them all is the category of people that have interests and are sure of what they want to do but are limited by different forces around (for example, family, reality, pay, past practices and image of the profession amongst others) and as such settle for either what they are being given or what seems more realistic." Why you may ask well I'll tell you.

Take for instance, a character named Peter has a dream of becoming an actor or say a performing artist but has limited options because his parents are bent on him attending college and studying something that would profit the family by getting a good job and in turn training the rest of his siblings through school. Peter gets direct financial support from his parents and is the first child out of four siblings. Peter's family are not one to be told about literary arts because they feel it is for people who do not work hard. So Peter due to fear and pressure then decides to read engineering in college (because he is a 'man' and because its a suitable job choice) and eventually graduates from college as an engineer. He then gets the job, hates every minute of it but comforts himself with the fact that the job would eventually pay his bills and besides realistically speaking he wasn't sure he was going to make that much if was a performing artist.

Analysis

• Now, for those of you that feel Peter had a choice, it is likely not true because different cultures allow and permit different things. Moreover, his tuition and financial expenses were being paid by his parents, So technically his choices were limited. 
• Secondly, we find out from the except that peter basically went to school for his family, because his course of study was 'professional and well-respected' and because it was going to land him a good job. 
• Thirdly, Peter's parents were not too keen about the arts department and hearing their son was going to venture in that department would have 'literally' broken their hearts. Some people might say but they would come to accept it with time. Well, sorry to burst your bubble but sometimes it's not really that easy when people look up to you as a whole investment.
• Also, note that one thing that was missing was Peter's happiness. But, he sacrificed his happiness for reality. 

At the end of the day, it is possible that these factors were not an issue for Peter at first because what he cared about was doing something he really loved regardless of what it brought home. I could say a solution that might work for some people but either way it's an opinion worth listening too.
Every parent's dream is to see their child or children succeed but sometimes they might indirectly enforce their opinions based on the level of power they have over them as is the case of Peter. The suggestion therefore, is for Peter to go to school, get the degree and while working try to pursue his dream now that he is financially independent to do so.

Although this happens to most people always remembering that being happy in your job makes it worth it carries the win. So, even when limited with these forces try to keep your head above the water with a plan B and if that doesn't work a plan C, D and E until your dream comes to pass. Also, everything in life is about risks and most successful people in the world today did not actualize their dreams within a day. So keep dreaming baby and strive to make that dream work no matter what it takes. 

And while you at that always remember that when play becomes work, work becomes play.  

Disclaimer: This is not an everyday kind of post so you'd have to be patient while reading this in order for you to grasp the level of intelligence in this piece. You also might not agree with half of the things written here but i am always welcomed to new ideas and shared opinions.